Saturday, January 28, 2012

Arizona or Bust

Well, it was an interesting year...the one I spent in Sugarhouse, UT. The relationship with the guy I was dating didn't work out and life in that house turned pretty sour. Things got especially difficult toward the later part of 2011 and I only made it through by staying busy at work and with the love and encouragement of some very special friends. 

Foremost among them was my biker friend. He and I met and became friends years ago but our friendship took off last summer as we ventured out every Saturday morning to ride up East Canyon and shoot pistols and swim off the shores of East Canyon Reservoir. We'd often stop at a bar and grill somewhere and eat and chat for hours. I also ended up joining a flag football league with him and played football twice every week for the whole of the summer. What a life-saver that all was. So much fun and at such a needed time. 

I ended up spending most of 2011 working for a really nice Italian restaurant right nearby my house. I worked six days a week and double shifts most days so that I wouldn't have to go home. At work, I had dear friends and I made wonderful acquaintances with the restaurant's patrons. It was so good there that it seemed as though we might have been one big quirky family. I ate, drank, and sometimes even slept there. Most importantly,  it was at work that I had peace. I'll be forever grateful for that place and the people that loved me there. And I loved them too.

Toward the end of the year, the home situation got bad enough that I just had to get out of there. I had to get out of Salt Lake. I had to remember and then reacquaint myself with the person I had once been. I'd lost my energy, my drive, my passion, and my desire to try. I knew I was more that what I had become and that if I didn't do something to recover my real self, I'd waste away till I was done - which at the rate I was going wouldn't have taken too long. 

So I kinda tricked myself - tricked myself into moving away and getting back into school and doing the things that made me me. I started spreading a rumor that I had already made plans to move to Arizona at the beginning of the new year and go back to school. I told people I was excited to do it - that I was sure that this was going to work and that it was what I was meant to do. In truth, I had made no such plans and I was afraid - truly afraid - to change up my whole life when there was no assurance that it would even work...afraid that I couldn't do it. But, after starting the rumors and receiving loads of approval and encouragement from people I trusted, I began to think that maybe it could work. So, I started to make inquiries in Arizona. I thought about going to motorcycle mechanics school till hopefully starting my MSW program in the fall. I talked to old employers and friends. I wasn't too sure what to do. Then, out of the blue, I received a message from an old friend that was working at and equine boys ranch. After a few messages and phone calls, I found myself on my motorcycle riding through Utah's snow and rain to eventually make it down to a ranch just north of the Mexico border. 

Life immediately changed for the better. The healing and learning is going pretty well here. I ride and train with horses most every day; I work with fun boys and great staff while sharing and talking about good life principles; and my work comes complimentary with room, board, and three squares a day. 



I am so happy for you :) I hope you enjoy the nice AZ weather. I am glad I got out of UT. :) Miss you buddy. Take care

Bravone said...

Even though we've stayed in touch, I'm glad you're back, that ROBERT is back! I love you, and it was hard to see you go through what you did last year. I always had confidence in you though, and am so happy you are happy now. Thanks for always being there for me.

ControllerOne said...

Glad you are doing so well. And especially glad you posted again. Things are looking good for you, the man with the plan.